Normal college students are out partying, drinking, dancing, smoking (weed/cigs/hookah) on Friday nights and I am sitting here starting a blog. It is not because I am some ugly loner with no friends, though. It is not because I choose to be here. It is not because I am studying for midterms (although that was my excuse to the rest of the world). NO, I AM HERE BECAUSE I AM THOROUGHLY CONFUSED!
19...20 in June.
When I turned 10, it was my first year of double digits.
11-Middle School, here I come!
13-I am a teenager! (I also started getting monthly gift from Mother Nature. She is a green eyed bitch).
14-High School, here I come!
15-Learner's Permit!
16-Driver's Licence and a real job!
17- R-rated movies and Graduation!
18- (the mother load of all birthdays) College, here I come! I can legally purchase cigarettes and sexually explicit items! I can vote! I can call any hotline I want and purchase As-Seen-On-TV crap with my new credit card! Hell, with all this freedom, I decided to lose my virginity to my boyfriend on our 1 year anniversary. Why not?
19-...now what? The previously mentioned boyfriend became an "ex" and I moved back home over the summer :/ ick. So what do I do to combat the feeling of loneliness and constraint? What any logical 19 year old would do, I sat down with some dudes and we all smoked a bowl (oh how I love the taste of skunk/canned-oysters/smoke), chopped a foot of gorgeous hair off my head.
But, my wayward summer came to an end and I moved back into the dorms with some great gals I met y freshman year. On the 1st weekend back I got crunk and drank until I puked...2 nights in a row (I can no longer spray my pomegranate berry & sparkle febreze because it reminds me of raspberry Smirnoff infused vomit. It's nothing against the scent or company...but the drink and the scent smell eerily similar).
After that torturous hangover, I made a pact with myself. I said, "Self! High School was not the best time of your life. College is. Don't let this year be a sophomore slump!" Fortunately, I have a lot of great friends and the ex-boyfriend removed the prefix (smart man). I thought I had really tapped into my own mind and made a positive change.
But, sophomore slumpin' was my destiny and that is why I am here. I need to know that I am important. I need to know that I can be something. I need to know that even though the transition from teenager to adult is difficult, it is do-able. I need to know that when I get up in the morning and study/work hard, it isn't for nothing.
I need to know that the best years of my life have not passed me by.
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